Jas94.fm

Emotional Bullshit

Monday, September 28, 2009

Hi People. Before I start off I just want to thank you guys for reading this, and I feel good knowing you even care about reading this blogpost.

Anyway, I based this blogpost on a book titled, "Emotional Bullshit". I can kinda relate to it. Yep, its been a long time since I updated my blog, and there's no better time to revive it than during the exam period. *sigh* I think everyone agrees that life has been pretty tiring, mostly mentally and emotionally.

I'm really gonna try hard during these fews days left before the exams to get my facts right.

Just before this, I was playing a flash music game on my pc. Both my parents reprimanded me about my conduct and that I should go and study, but they didn't say it in a nice way. I don't like that. And I don't understand why they do that. Minutes later, my sister started asking me if I was ever planning to study, I replied with a yes, and then she said wouldn't it be better if I was studying now than to play the flash game? Yes, she was actually at the dining table studying but not very long ago she was the playing the exact game and I haven't even really started playing yet. What she said hurt me. For some reason it did. People just can't be nice anymore.

My biggest complain about my school life is what actually happens at home. Where I;m supposed to feel comfortable. My sister has always been the one who was academically stronger between us, and even has a role of head of hip hop in her school. I'm proud that I have a sibling that's studying at HCJC but a lot of times, it affects me negatively.

My parents compare both of us a lot and obviously I'm always the one at the losing end. I''m never considered the better one in any aspect of my life, other than how I'm less aggressive and tidier, neater and that I eat my vegetables but that's just it.

Sometimes I do go to my Mom and say that I love her. But I don't usually get the same reply unless I ask for it. Her usual reply would be something like, "Alright" or "Okay".

Yeah I know all these complains are making me sound like some grumpy kid, but I just had to get rid of all that emotional bullshit somewhere. And again to the people that actually care about me, thanks. :)

I blasts myself at 10:24 PM :)

Time for relaxation.... :)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Hey guys!
Been a loooong time since I've last blogged.
Around 3 weeks I think...
Haha, during the exam period I really cut down a lot of computer time.
Well, now I'm BACK
with a vengeance.

Let's see what happened...
Exams over (YAY!)
Tripod '09 is gonna start soon...
Been quite busy with that lately,
And people,
really, you guys shouldn't miss out on Tripod!
Its really fun,
and plus you'll be getting CIP Points on the way.
A lot of effort has been put into this project,
So I hope you'll support us and join! :)
That's to everyone reading this now! ;D

Missed out the Lit Outing... (booo...)
Had to go for singing lessons cause if I don't attend it, I'll still have to pay $40+ for the lesson.
Might as well go then.

The highest results for my CA are 72 for CH and 71 for EL.
I still failed one subject though,
which is the hated POA!
Got only 36 marks!
Gonna improve next term!
Wonder what we'll do in school other than check scripts now that the exams are over.
More time for fun! :D

Just came back from CGM cum Barbeque at Bert's house.
FUN FUN FUN
My whole Cell Group was there with Natthawut, Kah Fai, Shi Ying and Xiao Hui! :D
Ate lots of stuffs, played soccer, and made stupid/crappy/funny music videos.
Go check it out once Natthawut uploads it on facebook.
Planning on more outings with friends like going out for Jamming and KBOX tomorrow night!
Aha, just the sound of it is so fun!
Going through exams are worth it since we get to break free after all that stress!

That's all for you folks this time!
See you guys around!
Guys/Girls, leave a comment or tag, will ya?

Cheers! XD

I blasts myself at 10:03 PM :)

Life goes on...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Hey people.

After going through so much...
I still don't have any time to settle down.

Everyone was crying during my Grandfather's funeral.
It was really sad.
Looking at someone you love and care about.
Going away.
My Grandfather will really be missed.
By everyone in the family.
Including me.

And even after all these..
There's examinations.
I'm really stressed out.
I don't have any time for me to do what I want anymore.

I have to just set things behind me.
And go with life.
As if nothing has happened.
As if its just another day.
I have to buck up.
And let go.

I blasts myself at 10:36 PM :)

Tears.....of Grief

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Yesterday,
10:27 pm.
1st Call from my relatives from Malaysia informed us that Grandpa had just fainted and was sent to the hospital.

11:06 pm.
2nd Call.
Just when I was praying for the health of everyone in my room, I heard my Mom mention Heart Failure when she was on the phone.
I went out of my room, asked, " How's Grandpa?"
And the reply I got...
,"He's...passed away."

I miss him.
I just wished that I had more time to talk to him.
I.. never expected him to go so soon.

I feel helpless.
My Mom's feeling terrible.
If I, lost my father,
I wouldn't know what to do..

I really took life for granted.
Never lost someone before.
Until now.

Father and sister's being insensitive and thick-headed.
Pissin' me off.

SYF's out.
Depressed over the result.
How did we get COP?
What wrong have we done.
Worked so hard for..
This.

Sure,
ELDDS bonded a lot through out.
But still, I expected us to do a lot more.
a Silver at least.
And I'm really ashamed to face people.

People go,"Heyhey! What did you get for your Drama SYF?"
Me: COP
Them: Sure or not? You kidding right?
Me: No I'm not. We got COP.

We've failed expectations man.
Big time.
I feel that..
We've let down
a whole lot of people.

Disappointing
Depressing
Things aren't looking up for me.
Not at all.

I'm not going to school tomorrow.
Leaving for Malaysia later to attend my Grandpa's funeral tomorrow.
Will be back by tomorrow night.

This time.
Its not right.
Its, not right...
I don't want all this.

I blasts myself at 7:52 PM :)

Everyone's Human

Saturday, April 11, 2009

We all have emotions.
And I've never felt someone, who's been close,
Let out so much of his emotions before.
A side I've never seen before.
His emotions, his depressions,
All Out.

Guess I got to know him better.
Talked to him.
Tried to.. understand him, a little more..
Bit by bit,
bit, by bit...

I love hearing people.
Love listening to people.
Connecting with them.
Sharing about each other.

And after this experiences,
I've found out, that,
There's always a side,
that reflects our emotions
A side that may not always show,
A side that makes all of us..

Human.

I blasts myself at 10:42 PM :)

Drama SYF Tomorrow!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Alright,

Tomorrow's the big day.
Finally after countless times of practices and rehearsals.
People pray for us or something.
Really nervous and stressed up.
Hope we can at least achieve a SILVER.
Last batch got GOLD during 2007 SYF

ARGH REALLY REALLY stressed up for tomorrow's SYF

Anyway, this is gonna be short post,
I've gotta get my rest so I can perform to the best of my abilities tomorrow.
Sorry people for not updating my blog diligently.

Cheers for Tomorrow!

I blasts myself at 10:22 PM :)

HeyHeyYouYou! I hate those stupid tests!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Wassup People!

I just imported mah blog to Facebook notes, so yeah, if you're too lazy to type my blog URL and you're at facebook, you can just stop by my profile and click on notes.

Anyway people, haven't been blogging lately, been busy with church stuff, CCA stuff and Tripod stuff.

By the way, people. Have you ever heard of TRIPOD?
Anyway people, for the people out there who have never heard of Tripod, let me explain to you briefly what its ALL about. :)

The main purpose of this Tripod Organisation is:

To increase interaction between students from academically elite and non-elite schools, so as to foster friendship and mutual understanding.
To advocate active and continual service to the community amongst youths
To raise funds for selected voluntary organization(s)

That's what I wrote anyway, for the Project Tripod '09 information sheet.
This Organisation was started by an RGS student Michelle in 2007
I joined Tripod last year as a participant, and now
I'm the ICT and Publicity Director for Tripod '09!
Right behind me is Natthawut, holding the role of ICT Officer

Tripod brings students from schools all around Singapore, Elite, Non- Elite doesn't matter.
This year's Org Com and Programme Planners mostly consist of Bukit Viewans and New Town Sec peeps.
Mentors are mostly Bukit Viewans, and the mentor of mentor is Michelle herself.

So, anyone interested?
If you want more info you can just contact me and I have a testimony to prove that being of Tripod is gonna be one of your best decisions as a Youth.
Just go to my June 2008 Archive and what I wrote about the camp when I just broke Camp.

Oh, and the ELDDS Camp was SUPAH FUN!
Had so much with Daren, Basyar, Nasri, Naufal, Jolene, Hard to believe, but Iqbal, Joel and lots and lots of other people!
And I especially enjoyed interacting with the Sec 1s
Even though a few of them don't even know how to clean up after themselves.
But most of them were really enthusiastic about the camp and I really think they enjoyed themselves.
SEC 1s RULE!
Enjoy your time now Sec 1s, cause when you reach Sec 2, you have to start worrying about streaming and all that.
So, take my word for it, just enjoy yourselves now while you still can :)

Tests, tests! Maths Test tomorrow!
2nd day after the holidays and there's tests.
We're gonna repeat this endless cycle over and over again.
Wake up, go to school. Homework. Repeat.
Tests.
Wake up, go to school. Homework. Repeat.
Tests.
Exams.
Holidays.
And repeat the whole darn thing.

Same for work when we come to age.
We're like robots living in an endless cycle.

I blasts myself at 8:26 PM :)